Are You Afraid of Your Own Child? A Loving Reflection for Parents of Young Children

As a parent, have you ever felt a little afraid of your own child?
Not in a dramatic sense, but in those quiet moments where their intensity, unpredictability, or overwhelm seems... a bit too much?

If you’re nodding quietly right now—you’re not alone. I’ve seen this more times than you might think.

In my 38 years as a holistic practitioner, guiding parents through the language of their child’s body—what I call Baby Body Language—I’ve witnessed many beautiful breakthroughs. Together, we explore the subtle cues a child shows through their neck, shoulders, arms, back, and legs. We use gentle, intentional massage to relieve physical tension in their little bodies—tightness that can stem from their earliest experiences in the womb, during birth, or within those critical first 1000 days of life.

But what often comes to light during this process… is the parent’s own body memory.

Sometimes a mother is still carrying unspoken shock from her child’s birth or a deeply emotional pregnancy experience. She might not even be aware of it until something her child does in public—maybe a meltdown in the supermarket or refusal to cooperate—triggers a wave of anxiety or helplessness.

Suddenly, she feels scared. Not of harm—but of how to respond.
And here's the heart of it:
Her child senses this.

Children are deeply attuned to us. When they pick up on fear or hesitation, it can create a loop—where their need for comfort gets magnified, and the parent’s reaction grows more unsettled.

That’s why, in my sessions, when the time is right, I often gently ask a simple question:
“What are you afraid of, right now?”
And more often than not, the answer that softly surfaces is:
“My child.”

It’s a powerful and humbling moment of truth. One that opens the door to healing—for both mother and child.

So, next time you find yourself triggered or overwhelmed by your child’s behaviour, try this gentle practice:

💚 Pause.
💚 Feel your feet on the ground.
💚 Take a slow exhale.
💚 Silently repeat: “I am in the moment. I am here. I am breathing.”
💚 Then ask: “How can I meet my child’s needs right now?”

Let the pause guide you. Observe without rushing to fix. Be with what is. The shift begins there.

And remember, this is not about blame or perfection. It’s about reconnection—with your child, and with yourself.

If you’d like more guidance on how to understand your child’s cues and deepen the connection, simply comment MORE—I’d love to walk this journey with you.

With love and gentle wisdom,
Anne Matthews
Baby Body Language Expert | Holistic Parent Coach